Avast ye scurvy scalawags!!!! Or mark me words ye’ll be walkin’ yon plank with the rest of the miserable curs!!!

I must say, I’m impressed the pirate phenomenon has reached such a level that there is an official National Talk Like a Pirate Day (made official by whom, however…? Hmm…? Is there an official Pirate Affairs Committee in the Cabinet? I didn’t think so!! Maybe this “National Talk Like a Pirate Day” isn’t so official after all…). Since it’s not officially until tomorrow I will forgive my pub quizzers’ feeble attempts at speaking like said pirates this evening. There were some Jolly Roger flags half-heartedly waved and some mumbled “yarrrs,” but not a single “avast”, “scurvy”, “plank”, or “scurvy scalawag.” Sigh… 

What IS a scalawag anyway? According to unreliable Wikipedia it “was a Southern white who joined the Republican Party in the ex-Confederate South during Reconstruction. The term originally was pejorative and meant rascal, but is used descriptively in the 21st century by most scholars and reference books.” So it really has very little to do with pirates, but it sure sounds good when paired with scurvy! Love that alliteration!

Other words that sound good with scurvy:

salad

apple pie

turvy

surf ‘n’ turvy

Sarah Palin

whale penis

A good, close quiz tonight. It’s good to see Silver Snakes in the winner’s circle once again. Also, it was good to hear about the fella from the Booty Snatchers’ forthcoming book about diarrhea jokes. I gave him an extra point because he had a pirate joke culled from his research for this book. I can’t remember the joke because it wasn’t very funny but I look forward to reading the book—anything about diarrhea is okay by me! Dude claims it’ll be out in 2009 and the working title is “Poop Culture.” I’m thinking the National Book Award is pretty much a foregone conclusion.

YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Cap’n Justy Pants